


Cleaning Disaster

by galateabellator



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cleaning, Humor, Multi, Other, crackfic, goof, weekend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 02:05:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3710809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galateabellator/pseuds/galateabellator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How cadets end up screwing up simple tasks? Easily :P</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cleaning Disaster

**Cleaning Disaster**  
\- one-shot story (involving canon characters/Levi and Levi's squad)

It was one of those beautiful weekends, with an amazing sunny afternoon and weather which practically begged for young adults to go out and have some fun.

Alas, the typical weekend in the Special Operation’s squad didn't involve any of that, especially if your idea of fun differentiated largely from your Corporal's view of the subject. So, instead of fun, there was a lot of cleaning, mixed with cadets’ collective whining and occasional cursing while they did all the chores, often twice or thrice a day, since the bitchy Corporal wasn't satisfied with only one sweeping and was a confirmed, genuine clean-freak who just had to check every single detail. Twice. 

Sometimes, someone in the group would even get that nasty feeling that their leader had more fun in making them do the chores than actually giving a f*** about the rest of the dirt (which, if we may add according to the general opinion of those less-obsessed with sanitizing, washing and wiping... was nonexistent). 

Little Corporal was a clean-freak, that much was obvious even to slowest of brains. But, Levi seemed to enjoy the whole thing much more when poor cadets drop dead from handling brooms, dusters, sponges, mops and other heavy objects that made their lives miserable. At least, that’s what Jean Kirschtein thought about it anyway... but nobody asked for his opinion, obviously. 

The midget just couldn't let them have one peaceful, and relaxing afternoon. One Saturday. Or Sunday. Just one frigging day! He wasn't even present in the room, leaving them to do everything on their own this time. Commander Erwin called him to discuss some tactics, or whatever, Jean didn't really pay attention, but the point is... the Lance Corporal wasn't even there. Well, maybe it was better that way. 

Sasha was peeling the potatoes, with a small, slight drop of droll in the corner of her mouth. Damn, that woman. She was having her own fun in that crazy, pretty head of hers, and didn't pay much attention to the rest of her teammates. She was blissful. 

Connie, on the other side, was hanging from wires of 3d maneuver gear, washing the windows, his facial expression switching from an extremely bored to annoyed from time to time. Jean wasn't surprised at all. He imagined his own mimics to be very similar, if not the same. 

He could survive without the clean floor, it was going to get dirty all over again and the washing of it won’t make a drastic change. Besides, he hated the dirty water and mop more than he hated Jaeger, and that meant something. 

Jean looked at his nemesis, on the other part of the room. That idiot was highly concentrated on duster, moving it around as if his life depended on it. He didn't want to annoy the midget. Well, if you think about it, it could earn him one of those hard beatings, so it's better to prevent than to face the Corporal's retribution.

Although he would never admit it, Jaeger was afraid of getting another portion of boot-kicking and getting his teeth out, despite his regeneration. In Jean’s humble opinion (which no one ever asked for, we remind you again), that pain-in-the-ass corporal enjoyed the violence a bit too much. Jean wondered if Levi was even aware of his level of sadistic urges. The logical conclusion – he wasn't, or he wouldn't torture them all in such a cruel manner. 

Armin was stuck with washing all the dirty dishes from last night, and was absent-minded for a while, not uttering a single word. 

Mikasa was in front of the room, handling the laundry. She spread some parts of their uniforms to dry in the sun, and she was really beautiful and graceful while doing so. 

Let’s face it - to Jean, Mikasa always looked like that. She was his dream-girl after all. That aside, her hair got longer again, and he could enjoy the sight for a bit before she cuts it off for the sake of that spoiled brat she calls "family". 

“Hey, guys, let’s have some fun! This is so boring!” Jean snapped, finally. 

“We have a work to do, horseface,” Jaeger responded, already annoyed by the sound of Jean’s voice. 

“I know you have problems with doing two things in the same time, doushebag, I was referring to telling jokes. But, if that’s too much for your damaged brain to handle, I humbly apologize.”

“Sorry, my bad, it just didn't occur to me you were talking about jokes, since you don’t even have a sense of humor,” Eren responded.

“Well, insulting you might be funnier, if you are going to get so worked - up over stupidities!”

“I like jokes!” Sasha screamed, doping the potato in the water. “Let’s joke about Connie!”

“The f***?!” Connie lowered his wire, to face Sasha through the window glass. “Why me?!” 

“Well, you are kinda short, and you’re bold. Your head is so shinny and round, it almost looks like a potato! If you were a bit shorter, you could grow roots! Are you sure you are even human?” Sasha giggled, teasing. Connie didn't find it amusing. 

“Not to mention you are short-tempered, pun intended,” Jean added, with wide grin on his face. 

“Why, you two morons. If those are supposed to be jokes, you are both so lame. Don’t ever bear children, especially not together. I beg of you. I know the humanity is on the verge of extinction, but save this poor world from another set of retards,” Connie said, but started grinning after seeing the looks on their faces.

“Come on guys, get along. You aren't joking at all, you are just insulting each other,” Armin was the one to speak this time, though he previously thought that he should mind his own business and let them solve their own conflicts.  

“Hey, Armin… trying to arm-in the situation, or just the dishes?” Jean grinned stupidly. 

“Very puny,” Armin set up the clean pile of plates and glasses to get dry. "Not."

Sasha brought the pot with potatoes to a burner, managing the fire in the stove. Connie left the window, and decided to move a few boxes with Corporal’s precious tea supply. 

Meanwhile, Mikasa finished with the laundry and started to clean the table. Jean was staring at her, almost dazzlingly, but Eren got in the way again, with his stupid mop, redoing Jean’s work all over again. This only irritated him even more. 

“Get out of my way, jerk-face,” Jean pushed him with his broomstick. Eren responded in the same manner, using his own.

“You know, I am so eager to really punch you, Jean... but that would be considered an animal abuse,” Eren added. Sasha and Connie burst into laughter together. 

“Oh, I would punch you too, but that would be considered a titan-abuse. And since I am completely fine with titan abuse, you whiny little titan – boy, I might punch you all the same!”

“Well, bring it on, horse!” Eren demanded. They started fighting with brooms.

"Titan VS Horse! Titan VS Horse!” Sasha and Connie were now whistling, and clapping, and cheering. Mikasa glared at them, then threw her dishtowel forcefully on the table, and rolled her sleeves up in two, fast motions. 

“Stop it, you idiots!” Mikasa went ahead to separate Eren and Jean, but they evaded her, and moved away. 

“Guys, seriously!” Armin reacted again, watching their moves with an anxious anticipation. 

Something... happened. 

“Oh, crap,” Connie said. The window he spent the last fifteen minutes cleaning, got shattered... in million little shards which spread all over the floor, and some of them ended up in the yard too. 

“The f*** did you do, Jaeger?” Jean shouted.

“I did? You are the one who broke it!”

“Shut the f*** up!” 

They started fighting again, this time using fists, and Jean pushed Eren straight to the boxes with Corporal's precious tea. Eren fell hardly on them, squishing everything into a pile of mess. Then, Eren got up and pushed Jean, enraged. Jean almost fell, pulling the set of plates in a clumsy attempt to maintain the balance. 

They have all crushed, very loudly. 

“May the Walls help us now,” Sasha wasn't laughing anymore, she was concerned. 

The mess was too much to handle before the Corporal arrives. The bigger tragedy was… they won’t be able to have lunch now. Or dinner, for that matter. That cruel shorty-san would even dare to starve them all for days!

“These imbeciles…” Mikasa muttered, ready to seriously engage the fight at this point, but that wasn't necessary, because the door suddenly opened. 

Everyone turned to face one short figure, with fear written all over their faces. Corporal's eyes were sharp and dangerous, per usual, but visible layers of anger were piling on, and on and on. 

“Tch...”

“We are so screwed,” Connie muttered.

And all they wanted, was a bit of fun. For one lousy day. Was that really too much to ask for?


End file.
